The night the gun shot rang through our home, was the night my father died. Over the years, I had heard many stories about how and why he died. Those stories are really the only way I knew my father. It's sad for me to say, I didn't know what kind of man he really was until I read his suicide note when I was 39 years old. I had gotten it when I got the police report and autopsy report.
I cried while reading the note my father had left. I found out, although unhappy, he was not the mean and cruel man I was lead to believe I had for a father.
Because I had heard so many bad things about my father growing up, I finally contacted one of my older sisters that I hadn't seen or spoke to in many years. She was 16 at the time of our fathers death. I had to know if the suicide note was really written by our father. She said it was, and asked me where I got it. I told her I woke one morning wanting to know more about my father and his side of the family. We never had much to do with my fathers side of the family, and I didn't know why.
I spoke to my sister many times after that night, and I have read my fathers note many times over. And I now believe my fathers children from his first wife, and his mother, and siblings stayed away from us, because in his note, he had told them if any of them couldn't treat his wife and babys right for them to stay away. The man I grew up hearing about didn't care for his wife and children is why he shot himself in the heart that night. And I have learned that is not true at all.
I wish I could talk to him. There is so much I would ask him. The first thing I would ask him "is why he left his children with a woman like the person that gave birth to me."
My older sister I talked to about our father, I feel bad for her. She has lived her life seeing our father on his knees with a hole in his chest, dying. Makes me want to cry for her, I don't know how she can live with that vision all these years. I know it has to be hard.
My sister that died in her sleep, died just a few months after our father. I will be back and talk about that.
Our Family - Established 1979
I am 46 years old, and have been married 29 years. We have two sons, ages 24 and 17.
In case you haven't guessed, both of our boys are Eagle Scouts. They were both 13 years old when they earned their Eagle Scout Award. The requirements for The Eagle Scout Award is not an easy task. We are very proud of our sons, they are our lives.
We started out as a military family (1979 - 1992). We lived in Germany twice during this time, and it was great. Hubby got to see Saudi Arabia during Desert Shield and Desert Storm, that, not so great. He has been working for the United States Postal Service for 10 years now. He lives and breaths Union regulations. Get him started on that, and he can talk for hours.
About our oldest son: He earned his Eagle Scout Rank in 1997, at the age of 13. He graduated High School in 2002, and like most teens worked at a few fast food restaurants, but decided very quickly, that was not for him. He applied at Wal-Mart when he was 18, started working as a associate, and decided that was not what he wanted. His goal was higher, "Management." During this time as an associate at Wal-Mart, he work in Toys, Hunting and Fishing, and Pets Departments. In 2006, he decided to go the road for Wal-Mart, and joined the rebuild, remodel team. He got to travel during this time. During the teams break, he rejoined the staff at his home store, a Wal-Mart Management training course started, and he applied. So, off he goes again, more traveling. His first week of Management school, he had to come home, because he got sick, and had to have is gaul bladder removed. (The doctor said it was 4 times it's normal size). After a week, he took off back to school. He is now Assistant Manager at a Wal-Mart out of state. We are very proud of his accomplishments and we miss him very much.
About our youngest son: He earned his Eagle Scout Rank in 2004, at the age of 13. He is going to start his Senior year of High School in a couple weeks. He was dubbed "Acsie" at Boy Scout Camp about 6 years ago, because every year, he got hurt one way or another. The very first time (age 4) he was out at the Boy Scout camp, in 1995 visiting his brother, he was hurt He blamed that one on his dad, because his dad didn't catch him. He has been in band for 6 years, and this year, he wrote a Zombie movie, and some of his friends are helping him shoot it. Even his teacher joined in on the fun, as a Zombie. I will be adding a video clip here. The clip will be adding is parts of it he has put some music to. He enjoys editing video of him and his friends. We are very proud of his accomplishments so far in his life, I can just imagine what his adult life is going to turn out to be. His band teacher says, "He has found his calling."
Our Guard Dog
This is NaNook - He doesn't like other dogs at all.
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